All,
As the 2005 season comes to a close, it's time to look back and review the year's events. The annual Cross Counties Society Season Year Book has now entered its fifth year and continues to go from strength to strength.
The 2006 season is set to take on a new format with the weekend away being purely a Cross Counties Cup event. This will be a combined Stableford event contested over 3 rounds.
To compensate an extra event has been added to the Order of Merit calendar in April. The format will stay the same with the best 5 out of 6 scores counting, the scoring system remains the same as the 2005 season.
The 2006 Season sees Dean Skinner join as a new member of the society but it also sees the departure of Brian Lock, which I'm sure you will all agree is a blow and a sad loss and the society as a whole will be a little poorer for it.
Good Luck to all for the 2006 season
Cheers,
Mosey
Welcome one and all to the 2006 golf season. I would like to thank Jeff for his year as captain and I hope that me and Rocket Ronnie (my Captain of Vice) can continue the good work and try to ensure that all members and guests enjoy every golf day to the full.
his year we all took part in some (usually friendly) banter about the quality of the golf day reports. I must take some blame for this as I was responsible for the first one of the year, which was late and not to inspiring and my lead was followed by most. I made the mistake of not doing it straight away and my old brain forgot almost everything.
I think this year, if Paul does not mind, each playing group has a dedicated mini report writer who will compile the various incidents and email these to the chief sports writer for that day, and this will hopefully have a number of positive effects:
Of course the alternative is to just contact "Statto" Hughes whose memory for golf day trivia is almost as long as Mr Dillien's golf swing, unfortunately for Barry this extraordinary memory ability only seems to apply for golf..................
I am already looking forward to the weekend away where the mixture of golf and single malt go together like roast beef and custard. For those that would like to save for this monthly I am sure Jeff will continue to take your money as he quietly keeps the society finances in order. I am interested to hear the route Jeff and Chairman Lard are planning to take to Lincoln (UK), perhaps via Lincoln (USA). Thanks Jeff for continuing to treasure whilst captain.
Good luck to all those in the winter cup. I will be attempting to modify the rules this year to ensure I make it into the elite of the Cross Counties Golf Society in 2006..........as qualifying by the conventional method is difficult (obviously a single malt issue).
I thought the experiment to play the society ‘Match Play’ outside of society days was a great success, allowing individuals to get to know each other better and therefore increase the camaraderie of our society. It also makes Paul’s task of ensuring everyone gets to play with everyone else through the year much easier.
I would also suggest that guests are slotted in to any groups and don’t necessarily have to play with their mates. I thought that went out at primary school, this will also make Paul’s job easier. Thanks Paul for the organising of the groups on each golf day.
That only leaves me to say WAKE-UP!! and enjoy the new and old golf courses and the mainly old company that will make 2006 the best year of golf yet.
Cheers,
Captain, Dog Leg
Sunday 2nd November 2005
(Report by Barry Hughes)
The day started well with perfect weather being enjoyed, glorious sunshine, blue skies and hopefully no golf balls to look for, this was after all arguably the best two golfers in the society Barth and the Ship's cat – battling for the 3rd major of the season. Ronnie (the ship's cat) is the Stableford specialist who scores 36 points for fun, against Bryan Arthur who has only lost one Matchplay game since 2002, and that was the 2003 final at the 20th hole!!!
The game started quietly with Ron and Bryan both messing up the first before Bryan conceded a putt to Ron (that I would have liked to see him hole...............) for a half – perhaps this would be a missed opportunity as Bryan had received the first of only four shots on the opening hole. On the second again the guys had a little trouble before Bryan came out on top to go 1up (the second was another hole where he received a shot..............and Ron was even friendlier with his concession).
The next few holes were traded, but Ron was definitely struggling, whilst Bryan was playing some awesome golf – splitting every fairway. The only mistakes Bryan made were the occasional under-clubbed approaches, which prevented him from romping clear. Ron was doing just enough to stay with Bryan, even though he was not on top form. Bryan forged further ahead on the sixth, and after a series of halves (with the odd traded holes) Bryan led 2up with six to play. At this point it seemed the writing was on the wall, throughout the round every time Ron won a hole, Bryan would win the next and quickly re establish the two hole lead.................this was about to change as the match turned on its head!
On the 13th hole (536 yard par 5) Bryan was to receive a shot, and with another shot (his final one) to be received on the 15th hole there seemed a chance to close out the game.................. however both guys leaked their tee shots and were forced to hit provisional balls. Ronnie found his ball, in a good spot and progressed down the fairway, Bryan had to come out sideways – despite this he was in good shape.................until he returned his ball to the trees...................a few times..................and then conceded the hole with Ronnie on the green for 3, so the score returned to 1up.
At the next hole Ronnie attacked and an approach shot to four feet, returned the scores to all square. On the 15th Ron again turned the screw and hit an approach to six feet, and when Bryan duffed his third from the sand it looked as though Ron would make it three holes in a row and go ahead for the first time, until Barth did his trademark and somehow got up and down to save 5, Ron then stroked his birdie putt just past the hole, and by virtue of receiving a shot Bryan escaped with a half and the match remained all square. A similar story on 16, both guys had a birdie putt to win the hole and both made tricky return putts to stay all square.
On the 17th tee the daylight was closing in and it was looking possible that the game would not finish, however in difficult conditions the boys both hit shots into the green, the first chink of daylight for some time was opened up when Ron missed a five footer for par and Bryan knocked his in to go 1up with one to play. The match finished on 18 (461 yard Par 5) in semi (ok, more than semi) dark conditions Ron and Bryan were both 25 yards short of the green in two shots, whilst it was very difficult to gauge distance Bryan hit an approach to 5 feet and sealed the win 2up with a birdie four.
This was a fantastic match, played in great spirit (I can't believe the amount of respect these guys showed each other on short and important putts, far too many concessions..) and whilst the light closed in at the end I think Ronnie deserves a lot of credit for the way he played, starting poorly coming back and then being hampered by the conditions at the end, and then accepting defeat in the manner that he did. Bryan Arthur played as well as I can remember and the pair of them are a credit to the society — the next time there is a two ball Matchplay competition........................we have a team.
(Report by Jeff Hughes)
"Dog Leg" Dave and Dilley decided to play the Plate final on Captains Day at the London and Hatfield Golf Club.
I would like to say this final was a contest that swung one way and then the other? But the only swinging that occurred all day was performed by Dog Leg as Dilley had decided to leave his golf swing back at home.
Dog Leg raced to a 3 up lead after the first 3 holes which is hard to believe as he played the first via the 12th fairway. It was at this point that Dilley put in a sporting rally and got it back to being just one down. This unfortunately was the closest that Dilley got to Dog Leg all day.
It was at the turn that Dog Leg decided to turn up the heat and he rattled off five straight holes to close out the match 6 & 4.
All aboard the magical mystery tour that is a Cross Counties Golf Society Season. From tantrums to tiaras, a mixture of stunning golf and the damn right crazy. A white knuckle ride that you just wouldn't get anywhere else.
Here we take a look back down memory lane at the Good, the bad and the very ugly. I hope that the following reports do justice to what memories that we have from each day we spent together through 2005.
So that we don't forget all the great and funny things that happen around the society during each round of golf, please can we help out each other and give observations to whoever is writing the report for any particular day. So that in years to come we can all enjoy what, for the most part are very enjoyable days with very enjoyable company.
Our Golf won't last forever but for most of us memories will................... except Jeff of course who is getting on a bit............................................... (as is Lard, Barth, Chris......... actually there are quite a few old gits now)
A PEEL-Y BIG MISTAKE: Si Unzips 180 Days of Decay!
Saturday March 19th 2005
(Report by Dogleg)
As the mist lifted and the sun rose on another beautiful Wiltshire morning the coffee and bacon rolls disappeared in the normal swift fashion and money and cheques rained in on Dave (Dog Leg) Morris as he struggled to add up and take away.
Si doing something that he normally does not do, decided to open the main zipper of his golf bag, only to find that inside he still had a banana from the last golf day, unfraternally the last golf day was 6 months ago.
The following groups had been expertly organised by our new efficient secretary and off we all went for another eventful hack around a decent golf course.
The first group away involved Bryan (Matchplay) Arthur, Peng (I hit more trees than a woodpecker) Cheah and Ronnie (how will I get all these trophies home) Giltjes. All was well with group 1 until the awkward blind 4th, when Bryan (getting ready for a fight with the weekend away coming up) Arthur, decided to play a shot with left hand side off of one of the players in front. This would keep the tension up with the society in front well into the 19th hole. Where without mentioning any names, Jeff (also getting ready for a fight with the weekend away approaching) Hughes was helping to reduce the tension between the two societies.
Group 2 set off next with Dave (Dog-leg) Morris playing every whole right to left and still managing to cruise home with 38 points (when are we going back). Jeff (SNIPE a 9 on a par 3) A Snipe is a wading bird which pokes around for food in wet, marshy ground. Bad players, always looking for their ball are called 'gutta-snipes'.
http://www.anyonefortee.com/Scoring/Birds.html
(A full list of birds for all saddo's........................................................)
Finally in Group 2 we had Chris (I'm having a bad day, not another bloody hill) Goodman.
Group 3 quietly got on with their business with Brian (steady) Lock and Tony (I'm sure my ball is on this side of the fairway) Dillien sneaking 3rd and 4th respectively and glad of the buggy that Mr Goodman would have paid handsomely for. Even Simon (Dambuster) Wray, came in with a respectable 9th.
And then coming up the rear (so to speak), were the out and out losers.
Lard lost some bawbees..................
André lost some shoes..................
Baz lost his Wedding ring................
What did Paul (the kleptomaniac) Mose lose though???
If nothing else this should prompt an Essex Stableford report.
See you all in Devon (Full nickname t-shirts to be worn)
Cheers
Dog Leg Dave
Locky leads by loads.......but doesn't get over the line!
Sunday May 8th 2005
(Report by Barry Hughes)
After a grueling journey early Sunday Morning to the other side of the world...........well it seemed that way after 3 hours on the M3, M25, and A12 we arrived at the venue. After the glorious weather of Castle Coombe we were treated to the rain and rain (and did I mention the rain) of rainy Essex.
The first stop for Bryan and Baz after the long journey was re-fuelling – so a quick stop in the hotel restaurant for breakfast......................we made sure we got our £14.95 worth!!!
Once play began the rain didn't seem quite so bad..................when the hailstones started, the first group off the tee all tried to hit the ball long and straight but the wind and weather had other ideas and what looked a fairly straight forward Par-4 became the first of many slogs !!!
The final group out which included myself and Ronnie had the excellent fortune of playing stroke index 1, 400+ yard, Par 4 into the wind during the hail stones, as such we played the equivalent of 800 yards!!! Not much of a problem for Ron who after an indifferent start chose this hole to begin playing well. I on the other hand had the misfortune of the wind blowing my hat over my eyes (at the top of my backswing) resulting in a blind hoiwk! (it was not my worst shot of the day, but the end of a promising start).
A special mention goes out to Ronnie on two counts, firstly his lightweight bag and short sleeve top (in those conditions!!). Also on his never give up attitude – on being advised Locky was a mile (and a half clear, ok then 8 points) at half way he announced oh well that's that then and started playing even better, in fact so well that when the scores were in he'd sneaked a one point victory.
Brian Lock (despite his blow up) hung on to second place and a strong finish by myself enabled me to sneak 3rd place and break a run of 30 months and 16 events without a top 3 finish (a society record I might add !! although equalled by Lard today!)
Tony Dillien gets a special mention for throwing his club at his bag in frustration at some wayward tee shots and like his tee shots watched as it swung away right hit Lard's bag and rebounded into Chris's bag. It was suggested a provisional throw, chucking three from the tee! However no-one could gauge Dilly's reaction behind the Matrix sunglasses. Dilly did get back on track though and followed up his 4th place finish at Castle Coombe with another 4th place finish to continue his encouraging start to the season and Chris completed the top five with on 'his own patch'.
Next stop Devon. I wonder if there is a West Country equivalent of a Hungry Horse?
Mosey takes an early lead...................................................
Saturday 25th June 2005 - Oakhampton
(Report by Bryan Arthur/Barry Hughes)
The opening round of the 2005 Cross Counties Cup was memorable for a number of reasons. Paul and Chris claimed the first two slots on the results ladder, the top three was completed by Barth – still searching for his first Cross Counties claret jug (in fact the only time Barth had this gong on his shelf was when he made the purchase, before he donated it to the society).
Brian Lock had an indifferent and somewhat expensive start to the weekend by indulging in a rare practice. Brian he of the repeating swing – irritatingly straight on the fairway, and consistent decided on a new approach and proceeded to smack many balls over the fence and OOB....................I think he became confused playing with Barth and decided to take him on at his own game! Tony Dillien brought much humor to the camp with his new game air golf.........................and despite a good start to the Order of Merit this in-ability to hit the ball was enough for Tony to pick up his sticks and head for the clubhouse, to become the first society member to discover the joys of food and drink on tap.
This act also enabled Dilly to record his annual sub 18 hole round by walking off the course....................I believe this time there was a genuine reason.......................other than the air golf........................
Baz had the biggest smile of the society as he attempted to play on one leg and actually put in a better score than the usually consistent dogleg.....................Dogleg's tally of 5 points in eleven holes will be remembered for some time to come. Making up this four-ball Chris 'Coach' Goodman continued to talk Mr Wray into an excellent performance and 5th place overall and a worthy half for team Wiltshire against Blister's in the team competition........................unfortunately I forgot to put money on this as I predict long odds and a large payout would not have been the order of the day!
As always Simon brought comedy to the piece with his continued attempt at a Mr Bean impressions. He of the wet glove decide the best way to pick a rake up, would be to stand on it — this proved to be a poor decision as the rake sprung up and slapped him across the face.............................. Me thinks this is another attempt to secure a golden golf ball nomination.
The chair joined the party playing many holes before realizing he had lost his wedge....................
And my personal favorite Jeff — teeing up on the last hole, a short par-3, with a chance to save his round hit a howling slice............................heading Nor-Nor-West (or straight for the car park) yet somehow the ball managed to hit the last post (four inches round) square on and bounce to the edge of the green — outrageous!
The team event was nicely poised overnight as for the second year running the first day was halved with both sides on 3.5 points. There were big wins for Jeff (7&6 v Tony...............but then he did walk in) and Mosey (7&5 v Hard Hat) whilst Barth continued his Matchplay domination against Baz.
The Rocket Fights Back!!!
Sunday 26th June 2005 - Oakwood Stapelford
(Report by Simon Wray)
The second day of the weekend away started in time honoured fashion — confusion over buggies and groupings, hangovers and general lateness to the tee due to the rugby. Several society members (notably the Hughes brothers and Dog Leg) thought it would stand them in good stead to stay up until 5am drinking good whiskey and playing bad poker (no names..... Hard Hat).
The second day of the weekend away started in time honoured fashion — confusion over buggies and groupings, hangovers and general lateness to the tee due to the rugby. Several society members (notably the Hughes brothers and Dog Leg) thought it would stand them in good stead to stay up until 5am drinking good whiskey and playing bad poker (no names..... Hard Hat).
Well, finally all assembled and ready for a round on a new course the weather presented us with the challenge of morning mist/fog. The Chair saved me from a stern reprimand from the course marshal as I proceeded to take my usual practice swing on the tee, taking out a divot the size of a 50 pound note. The Chair's banter (and girth) managed to distract the marshal but we’re pretty sure he heard the thud as the turf came to ground.
Baz and his peg leg decided to play a valiant game with only irons and a half swing. It didn't affect his game on the 1st par 4 though where he made the green in 1. Swiftly followed by 3 putts, and 3 blobs on the next three holes. Shouldn't laugh but...........
Dog Leg Dave, usually reckoned for a 'slight' propinquity toward a right to left swing (something Blisters seemed determined to out do on the day), proved that this doesn't have to apply simply to tee shots and approach shots but also putting! Having hit the smallest green on the course (the temp on 5th) with his tee shot and by so doing taking the NP £dosh, then proceeds to putt off the green with a reverse dog leg left to right.
A particularly wayward tee shot on the 9th by the Chair resulted in as much earth raining back down across the tee as at the bombardment at Anzio at which point he threw his bats out of the pram. Most unusual and quite amusing I hear.
If nothing else is remembered from this round it must be Dilly playing the 10th. Here I must plagiarise from a man on the scene who depicts the events far more eloquently than I could: "It was akin to a North American Road Gang clearing pampas from the roadside. The path left through the rough is now being considered as a landing strip for light aircraft". 9 consecutive air shots must be some sort of record? Maybe we should enquire from the sole remaining McWhirter?
Finally congrats to Ronnie who posted the round winning score of 37 points closely followed by Chris & Mosey joint second with 35 and a very respectable 4th place to Dilly with 34 (just a few more points than shots on the 10th). . . . . . . . . .
In the team competition Team Essex took a step towards retaining the title by opening up a 3 point lead with seven matches to play on the final day.
Mosey brings home the Bacon & Team Wiltshire come from behind (Ooer................)
Monday 27th June
(Report by Barry Hughes)
After two days of the Cross Counties cup things were set up nicely, Mosey held a one point lead over night from Chris Goodman with Ronnie five points further back (and looking menacing after day 2). As a contest the individual event was soon over as Mosey raced into a healthy lead by the turn.
Jeff and Mosey provided additional comedy value with their annual tiff,........ (comical in hindsight I add – Jeff / Mosey we do not think this is funny really stop doing it) having a barney for the second year running................ although at least this year it took 4 days to happen !!!
The best performance on the last day was from Paul with an excellent best of the weekend 39 points. Chris and Jeff both posted 36 points, which enabled Chris to hang on to second and Jeff to nick third place. After this Simon Wray and Andre were the only other players to step up and score more than 30 points.
Jeff seemed determined to get in the news on the last day, first he fell out with Paul................then he lost his ball on the 6th and found it on the 7th (much to his disgust) then he fired his tee shot left of the fairway on 15th with the ball bouncing off the roof of Barry and Locky's buggy................and he followed this up by crashing his second into the tee marker (on the same hole) as Baz was teeing up................hmmmm perhaps there is more to this than meet the eye.
A special mention goes to Mosey, Chris, Jeff, Andre, Baz and Lard who all improved their scores day by day (especially Mosey but that's why he won!!!)
In the team event Team Wiltshire went into the final day trailing by 3 points, but a phenomenal last day saw a four points swing, with only Mosey winning for team Essex and victory going to team Wiltshire by 11-10 (thus making the series 1-1).
Individually in the team event Jeff and Paul were the main men - Commiserations to Lard and Peng................(sorry Lard) after the glory of Scotland the only men to remain pointless this year (that will teach you to do me on the New course..........St Andrews)
Paul Mose becomes a captain next year and will have the opportunity to win the cup back for Essex (or will he captain Wiltshire....................?)
Locky is back, Locky is back..................
23rd July 2005
(Report by Peng Cheah)
Stockley Park is a Pay & Play Championship Golf Course set in 240 acres of undulating parkland to the west of London. The 18-hole, 6754 yard, par 72 Golf Course is located just one mile from junction 4 (Heathrow Terminals 1, 2 & 3) of the M4 motorway on the A408 within Stockley Country Park. The greens are built to USGA specifications.
The golf course was opened in 1993 by then British Open Champion Nick Faldo and was designed by Robert Trent Jones Senior who is probably best known for his design work at The Augusta National and Valderama. Now that the good part is over, let's talk about the rest.
The day started off with an odd full breakfast....a generous fry up was marred by a single tea bag in the large cold teapot to be shared by everyone. Unfortunately Jesus only does fishes and loaves so the teapot remained full of cats piss....or the chef was taking the piss...who knows!!
The day started off with an odd full breakfast....a generous fry up was marred by a single tea bag in the large cold teapot to be shared by everyone. Unfortunately Jesus only does fishes and loaves so the teapot remained full of cats piss....or the chef was taking the piss...who knows!!
There were actually 2 types of full breakfast...the Stroke Index 18 breakfast was enjoyed by those who arrived early. Due to the usual weekend narrowing of the M25 to 1 lane, the late arrivals had the Stroke Index 1 breakfast which meant they had to putt out with only 10 minutes before tee time.
So onto the first tee....usually the indicator of things to come.
Group 1: Bryan A, Chris, Peng
Group 2: Jeff, Tony, Brian L, Dave M
Group 3: Paul, Baz, Lard, Ronnie
Boring!! Group 1 all had a respectable start into the dog leg (no, I don't mean Morris!!)
Jeff the bitch slapper, as described by Locky, put a great one over the corner. I know because it wizzed under my moving buggy heading for the green. I cursed those wheels for not being wider.
Baz and Ronnie hit the dartboard on the 1st and opened up their scoring.....good darts as Paul would say. But Paul and Lard missed the board... Paul choosing to ignore the 3 iron written in his yardage chart and go for broke with the driver. He discovered that the hosel is not part of the huge sweet spot. Paul was not playing his consistent game, his score of 6 points on the front nine shows that playing a course before is absolutely no indicator of success. Lard must have felt sorry for Paul and decided to score low by strategically moving his ball, playing the wrong ball and chipping into water! But the good news for Lard was that he was fantastic off the tee.
Barth complained about the lack of red stakes around the 2nd pond infested green.... I just ignored him because I'm usually at the green for no points and so lateral hazards don't come into play! As for Chris Lucky Heather Rabbits Foot, on the par 5, 5th hole, I witnessed 3 long putts from the tee, a wedge and a putt for par!! And there's me learning how to swing like Tiger....f*~k that...lets follow Chris.
Tightwad of the day was Jeff who rather than buy an electric powered trolley, decided he would harness the power of the buggy driven by Locky. (I hope you have made him share the cost!!) This backfired after Jeff lost control with one hand on the buggy, one on the trolley and probably trying to write down his score with a pencil in his mouth. Was it a 5 or 40mph? It depends how 'hard' you want it to sound!! He recomposed well with a 60ft birdie putt on the 9th.
And on the subject of greens, us high handicappers feel great when we hit the green...we like 38 yards greens. Dog Leg was hooking shots which indicated that the Westerly wind was stronger than the Northerly (or is that Easterly and Southerly!!). Bryan A wanted to smack one at a low flying Jumbo all day but forgot his 85 degree wedge...instead his "nuke the ball" attempt at longest drive hit a lot of low flying worms instead.
We should have wired up Chris's club to the local electricity wind farm on the 6th hole. A strong whoosh at the tee would have kept the Heathrow lights on all night since it made no difference to the position of the ball. Chris looked up and said "One". He followed by with a 3 into the hedge 5 yards away. Amazingly his rabbit's foot let him down this time and he didn't score.
And on that 6th, from under the base of a tree, Paul went from side-show to orthodox for a 20 yard 7 iron onto the fairway. An angry phone call from my wife on the 10th fairway asking how to operate the DVD player left me mentally scarred enough to hit my only slice of the day. Paul and Ronnie's buggy was gasping at the 12th... did anyone check that they had 14 and not 28 stone on-board! Also it didn't help that Ronnie thought he was riding Nemesis at Alton Towers.
The back nine had changing fortunes for Baz and Ron. Baz hit 20 points in 8 holes whereas the Big Ron became well the Small Ron. Life is hard with a handicap of 8. Not that Brian "Avoid the Cut" Lock would ever know. If Brian was a lumberjack, we would still have forests (get it... he would make no golf green!). He did slip up slightly with a cut of 0.5, a very slight blemish which is like Pamela Anderson going from 36DD to 36D. On the 18th I needed one point to beat my high of 39 points... a 5ft putt for 3 points went to a 5 putt for 2 points and a 1 ft putt for 1 point. Obviously quick greens had not registered with me after 17 holes!! After the first 2 groups had done their scores and had their pints, we wondered the whereabouts of the 3rd group. Maybe their divining rod had let them down? It turn out that after the 17th, Paul's team started to play the 9th again. The reason for that being:
Baz rattled the wedding reception with an approach onto the clubhouse roof and they were so appreciative, they sent us strawberry cream dessert!!! Maybe they crumbled up his ball and mixed it in the dessert... aka a Titleist Pavlova.
To sum up
Another enjoyable and eventful society day....................
Locky topped the leader board with 37 points with good consistent play (obviously eats more roughage than plays it). Well done on avoiding 40 points.
Jeff won nearest the pin....correct yardage on chart Jeff?
I won longest drive with an iron...not a bad effort since I had broken my driver at the range. Now maybe the longest drive should be done on the narrowest hole...that would give the shorter hitters a chance!! You could do it again Lard!!
Lessons to be learnt.
Play the right hole unless your partner is Abi Titmuss and doesn't mind.
If you want to hit longer drives... learn to be a bitch slapper. If you can't bitch slap, you can't be a pimp.
Content for Chairmans Day is coming soon...
Content for Captains Day is coming soon...
Content for Winter Cup is coming soon...
Content for Golden Golf Ball is coming soon...
Content for Chairmans Comments is coming soon...
Content for Outgoing Captain is coming soon...