Cross Counties Golf Society - Year Book 2005
Gloucester
Lard and the onion soup poured all over him. "You have no idea how much i want to drop my trousers now"
Returned wearing a shower cap
Richmond Park
Are you sure?
Wrong colour golf ball
Simon not sure what ball he played. he was sure he started with a white one and this one i got out of the hole is yellow.
Hainault Forrest Upper
Pro's "Firm" advice leads to double-hit disaster
Yet another incident at Hainault upper course. We have had the fantatstic off drive with the putter by Jeff and having to play the last 3 holes without a putter. Barths amazing Hole in one, whereby if the ball had not hit the flag I think it would have probably flew all the way to Kent. The amazing "Nasty Kick" incident by Locky, where he got so pissed off with the group behind keep driving the ball up our arses that on the 18th when they had done it once to often he just kicked the ball into the woodland on the side, and when the guys cheerfully come over the hill asking where their ball was he calmly pointed to the woods and said "You got a really nasty kick mate". Well we may have a story that trunps all of these.
On the 8th hole a nice gentle 500 yeard Par 5, Mosey proudly mentiond to the group that his coach had given him sone advice that was going to stop him missing short putts. It should be noted that at this point Mosey was having a pretty good round and was looking to post a large score. The group of course enquired what nugget of information the coach had shared with Mosey. Mosey loving the attention and puffing his chest out like a rooster in a hen house, pausing for dramtic effect, replied "on the smaller putts its important to ensure you push the putter head through firm and straight.
After three splendid shots Mosey has a 12" putt for birdie (And no, no one gave him the putt, as in those days everything had to go in the hole, and at times Mosey could be what is called a bit of a C$*t). Anyway back to the putt... He lines the putt up knowing that if he follows his coaches advice his score will be boosed by a massive 4 points and you can see him saying in his head, push through straight and firm. Well this is exactly what Mosey did and the ball goes straight to the middle of the hole, unfortunatly there was just a little to much speed on the ball and the ball hit the back of the cup, popped up and as Mosey putter head went though firm and straight (as instructed by his coach) the putter again connected with the ball (in those days a double hit was also a penalty stroke) and went 3 foot past. He of course missed the putt back, posting a very latge score of 8, for a glorious Blob and gave all of us aching sides as we pissed ourselves laughing.
Castle Coomb
A PEEL-Y BIG MISTAKE: Si Unzips 180 Days of Decay!
Si doing something that he normally does not do, decided to open the main zipper of his golf bag, only to find that inside he still had a banana from the last golf day, unfortunally the last golf day was 6 months ago.
Kent
Buggy boarding blunder! Hughes Majors’ High-speed hitch-hike horror!
It was a relatively long walk from the green to the next tee so Hughes Major who was using a push trolley thought it would be a good idea if he hitched a ride on Locky's Buggy. This seemed like a sensible idea in order to speed up play, however there was a flaw to the plan, as Locky had no idea Hughes Major was doing this and in true F1 fashion put his fot to the floor and zipped off down the track.
As the buggy gained speed Hughes Major was trying desperatly trying to hang on to one the buggy and two his clubs. Things then went from bad to worse as the next tee required Locky to make an almost 180 degree switch back that kn ow had Hughes Major being dragged along, lwith his trolly bouncing all over the place eventually making Hughes Major let go of his trolley and his clubs spilling all over the track. When Locky stopped and saw the carnage he looked at Hughes Major with a look that just said "Why?"
